Ok so all my friends want to have sex and they're ready but I want to try it even though I'm afraid. Will it hurt? And I don't want my parents finding out bc they would look at me differently. Idk I'm just scared but I want to do it. I'm also a sophomore and I've never really wanted to until now when my guy friend asked idk what to do I think I'll wait but Idk. Any advice?
If you’re scared, that’s a good sign that you’re not ready to have sex. You should want to have sex indepentantly of what others around you are thinking/wanting/asking, and it sounds like you feel like you’re ready only because your friends are thinking they’re ready too! I didn’t begin having sex until my junior year of high school, which was after most of my friends, but when I did, there was no doubt in my mind that I was ready for it and that I knew who I wanted to do it with. I’d look carefully at your situation and ask yourself if you feel like you’re ready because you are, or if it’s because you don’t want to miss out on an experience your friends might have. If your friends hadn’t brought this up, would you still want to do it? If your guy friend hadn’t asked you if you wanted to have sex, would you still have considered it?
Overall, if there is absolutely any doubt in your mind about it, don’t do it. I was a week from being 17 when I first had sex, which is still pretty young. You have so much time to experience sex, don’t do it simply because all your friends want to, because that’s peer pressure! Also be wary of your guy friends asking to have casual sex, because that means that you being the one that they have sex with isn’t their priority, and that’s disrespectful to you unless you feel similarly about them, which isn’t what I’m getting from this message.
If you do decide to have sex though, make sure you understand the risks and are willing to take them. Your parents might find out, and eventually they will, are you ready to deal with that? Also make sure that if you do have sex, you are using a condom that fits and is put on correctly (here is a link to a Planned Parenthood video that shows you how!), and if he doesn’t want to use a condom, then don’t have sex with him, full stop. Condoms are the best way to prevent pregnancy and the spread of STIs (sexually transmitted infections), and when used correctly, are 99% effective. They also give you great peace of mind lol.
Also, to answer your “does it hurt” question, the correct answer is that it shouldn’t hurt. It’s a horribly perpetuated myth that it should or will hurt the first time you have sex. It didn’t hurt me at all, because my partner and I did lots of foreplay before we ever had sex. If he prepares you correctly, through fingering or oral sex or the like, and you’re wet enough, it shouldn’t hurt at all! It might be a little uncomfortable because you now have something inside you, but it shouldn’t hurt.
Overall, I hope you make the best decision for you when it comes to sex, because it is a big decision! Overall, just make sure you’re comfortable with whatever you decide, and really think hard about whether or not you’ll regret your decision. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them, I’m always here to help (: